My Husband Is My One Person

I might stir up some difference of opinions in this post, but isn’t part of blogging having an avenue to express your opinion?

I recently came across a blog post that was shared via Facebook. It was called, “My Husband Is Not My Soulmate.” I was intrigued, as you probably are, and had some of my own thoughts on the topic.

I also grew up during the era of “Kiss Dating Goodbye.” In fact, I read that book and several other books by the same author. I participated in Songs of Salomon Bible Studies on a few separate occasions. I learned all about courting vs. dating and the type of person I should be searching for. Unlike Hannah, I didn’t hear anything about a “soulmate,” and I didn’t write letters to my future spouse or think that he would be a worship leader or youth pastor (although my husband is!). I didn’t feel as if I personally had to “kiss dating goodbye,” but what I did gain from these Bible Studies and books was that dating and marriage was not something that was to be taken lightly. It was, and is, serious business. We date to find someone we want to spend our lives with and because we are better with that person than we are alone. If that is not why we are dating, then we have no business dating in the first place! Dating and all that can come with it is emotional, especially for girls. If you give away pieces of yourself to every guy or girl you meet, what is left for your future spouse?

Excuse my soap box. Dating is a topic I have always felt strongly about and when the subject has come up with youth I have always advocated the above views.

I also learned what the Bible said about the type of person I should be dating. Although Hannah slammed this practice, I even made a list of the qualities I wanted in my future husband. This list was not binding, and it underwent some changes through the years, but it was good guide that kept me grounded. It wasn’t unfair to men and while I had high expectations I knew that no one was perfect.I still support making a list. I think it can help you figure out what is really important and what isn’t. In fact, I still have my list and I love how my husband more than surpasses what I was looking for!

I must respectfully disagree with Hannah when she says that God doesn’t have a plan for who you marry or for really anything else in your life. Saying that Jeremiah 29:11 doesn’t apply to us because it was for a specific group of people at a specific time makes the rest of the Bible pointless as well. The entire Bible was written for specific people at specific times!

With my whole heart, I believe that God has plans for each us. Yes, like Hannah says, He does want to us grow to be more like Him, more holy. But he also has specific things that He leads us to while here on Earth. God has places He wants us to go, people He wants us to meet, lessons He wants us to learn, ministry He wants us involved in. Ask any Pastor who was called to the ministry- my husband will certainly tell you that it is part of God’s plan for his life to be a pastor! And for many of us (not all) that plan includes leading us to ONE certain spouse that He designed just for you.

Hannah’s right- although not in the way she meant-we have a do have a life ahead of us full of choices. We choose daily whether or not to seek God’s direction and plan for our lives and whether or not we are going to follow His lead.

However, I understand Hannah’s reluctance to use the term “soulmate” when referring to her husband. I understand that it seems to suggest that love is something she has no control over, whether falling IN love, or OUT of love. I absolutely agree with her when she says that her marriage is a daily choice to love. My marriage is too and anyone who has been married for a long time will tell you the same! And I love how she says that once you marry someone, they become your one person. Perhaps if more people had this mindset, divorce would be less common.

So, while I also might not necessarily refer to my husband as my “soulmate” either, he is certainly part of God’s plan for my life. I am so thankful that Justin is my one person. (Reminds of me Greys Anatomy!) And as we seek God’s plan for our lives together, I will choose to love him more and better than the day before. After all, marriage is one of God's greatest gifts.

Photo By: Mozingo Photography